Thursday, August 9, 2012

My daily struggles

Hello friends that read my blog. I know there aren't many of you out there, and that's ok. This is mostly just me sharing my daily struggles... My time to let you peep into our lives and no holding back...

As a wife, mother of 2, homemaker, and 1 day a week (usually) speech-language pathologist, I feel rather short on time.

I have so many "wants" during my day.

Typical daily "wants":
1. Wake afreshed, showered, dressed, and ready to start my day! Time with the Lord to renew my mind so I can be the best wife and mother only through the Spirit leading me.
Reality: waking to sounds of my children and throwing on some random outfit I can piece together in 2 seconds. And, looking like a hot mess usually.

2. Easy peasy mealtime:
Reality: Well, with Fulton, I really don't worry (for now) He will eat whatever is in reach.
Ridge (typically still a good eater) will find any way not to feed himself. Yes, he's 3. He fed himself better at 18 months old. And, he is so so so slow. Why are we reversing?

Is this even real??
3. Plan multiple educational activities, structured physical activity, bible story time during the day (and not just before bedtime)
Reality: playing with whatever toys are lying around, nothing very structured while I'm washing clothes, cleaning kitchen, etc. I'm still acting like I'm in survival mode and Fulton is 1. Ouch. I said it.

Super mom and teacher

4. Exercise, yes, that unfamiliar word of something I used to do before children.
Reality: Chasing after children does require work inside and outside, but, again, nothing is structured in this area AT ALL. And, I'm not much of a morning person before 7. If it's before 7, it's still considered the middle of the night to me. So, how do you stay at homies do it? Where does it fit in? And, early morning is not an acceptable answer. Do I need to get over that?!?! I NEED my sleep.

5. Me time
Time with myself,  a book, my bible study, my laptop, shopping, girl time.
Time to refresh myself.

6. Alan time
Not just an hour or two before we pass out on the couch because we are both exhausted. Quality time together as husband/wife, motivating each other and praying for each other. Daily.

7. Cleaning house/creating a safe haven for my family.
I'm a little OCD when it comes to a few things around the house. But, for the most part, I'm trying to catch up on laundry when I have time, cleaning kitchen when I have time, cleaning bathrooms when I have time, you get the picture.

Am I the only one who feels these expectations and by the end of the day you feel like the day was wasted again and you've failed at your job???

I need to remind myself that this list is quite a list. But, with time management and daily strength from You, it is possible.

Lord, help me be intentional. Help me use my time wisely. Help me focus my desires and wants to only things of you! Help me to be SELFLESS in my desires. Help me be a picture of Christ to my children. Help me disciple my children thoughout the day in many teachable moments. Help me realize my beauty is in YOU and not of this world. Help me respect and love my husband through you. Help me take care of my body. Help me maintain my frustration during mealtimes so we can enjoy family mealtimE. Help me manage my time wisely so I'm the best wife and mother for my children.
Lord, I cannot do this alone. I need you. Everyday. Every moment of the day. Please keep my expectations realistic. Lead me and guide me daily Lord. I can't do this alone like I've been trying.
Help me remember my purpose during this season of my life. Lord, use me to teach my children daily the sweet Gospel of Jesus Christ. You are all we need.
Help me fight these daily struggles and lean on You.
Lord, thank you for the sweet cross, your death, burial, and resurrection!
Let us live to glority YOU!

*For all of you supermoms who have it together or who are also struggling with these same struggles, please leave comments of ideas, thoughts, suggestions!


alysonc said...

I think this is how we all feel!!! I have had this same conversation with so many moms lately. Our expectations are unreasonable and there is literally NOT enough hours in the day to do everything we feel we Have to do. A friend of mine suggested weekly or monthly goals instead of daily. So at the end of the week did I have 1 structured play time, 1 bible lesson, 1 art project, 1 great meal planned, 1 toilet cleaned :) It makes me feel a lot more accomplished when I look at the week and not each day. I struggle with this constantly but viewing my life in weeks and months has helped tremendously!! Great blog!!!!

april said...

Sandahlyn, its like you stepped inside my head and wrote my thoughts down. Im a stay at home mom of one and struggle with these same issues daily. I know i try hard but can always do better. I fail in so many areas and find myself stressed and feeling guilty. I pray daily that God will help me and bring me peace about all that i am able to do. Thank you for being courageous enough to write what all of us mommies are feeling!

april said...

That's a great idea!!!

Heather Woyak said...

Oh, girl. You are not alone in this. I was NEVER a morning person until I realized the amazing things that can happen in the morning. Start easy. Get up 15 minutes earlier each day until you are where you want to be. I have my time with the Lord, time to myself, and most of the house clean (what ever can be done that is quiet anyway). I now work out during naps or after the boys go to bed. Check out the Good Morning Girls blog and the (in)Courage blog both have some great ideas/support/etc for getting up early. You can do it!!

Brittany said...

I think all moms struggle with this, especially stay-at-home moms. I used to have this habit of thinking well "if I get to stay at home, I will have the time to do all these things like you wrote about." reality is there's still only so many hours in a day and I have to prioritize and BE FLEXIBLE. That is a biggie for me. Just because I had originally planned to get x,y,and z done today doesn't mean it's going to happen if Sawyer has a bad day or something comes up. I really like Aly's thoughts on setting week and month goals instead of daily, too. Maybe one day I will magically wake up refreshed at 5:00 AM to squeeze in all those things I want to do. :)

Anonymous said...

You are not alone, my friend! What a great post, and I could totally identify with every point.

I don't have any suggestions at present, but I do pray that knowing there are MANY in the same boat will serve as some encouragement.

You are a beautiful, wonderful wife, mother & friend.

Lots of love (and prayers! I'd appreciate the same :))

Julianne said...

I agree with what all these other Mamas said! I feel the same way, but I don't think we're expected to do it perfectly. I think our job reminds us daily of our desperate need for Jesus :)
You are such a great Mom and Wife, and your house always feels welcoming! Thank you for encouraging me ! Love you friend!

Noelle said...

Oh girl. I think you just wrote down every one of my thoughts on being primarily a stay at home mom. A struggle, for sure! Especially recently. Trying to remind myself that it's a blessing to be able to stay home too, even when quite frankly, it's easier to get out of the house and go to my other job for a break from being "mommy!" Asking the Lord to show me the importance and significance in the little every day "boring" things with my kids. Cause it's there, I just need to find it :)

Haley said...

For some reason my previous comment is not showing up, probably because I did not enter any kind of security code... but I had tried to comment and say that you are not alone in this, like everyone else has said! I tell Chad all the time that if I could have one wish I would wish for a CLONE OF MYSELF that I could pop into existence at any given time. (i.e. "here, you do the laundry, I'll handle the kids" - ha!) The expectations we put on ourselves as moms is ridiculous and unrealistic... and like a previous commenter said, there are not enough hours in the day, even with getting up super early! :)
I will say this, though... getting up earlier always makes my days go better. I know that is not something you want to hear and it wasn't something I wanted to hear either - I am NOT a morning person and it is pure torture to drag myself out of bed at 6am every morning, but once I am up and out of bed and awake (thank you pre-set coffee timer), I am so glad that I did it. I find that if I do get up and at em early, rather than waiting until I hear someone crying or fussing to get up, my day goes a lot better, I guess because I'm awake and not dragging and all. But I'm not going to lie, it's still torture when that alarm goes off! I just tell myself it'll be worth it! (Note: I do NOT work out in the mornings! THAT would be the ultimate torture, to me. :) I wait until Chad gets home and do it at night... helps me unwind and get out the day's stress!)
You are not alone sister!

Sandahlyn said...

Great idea aly! It is so comforting knowing other moms feel the same! Love you and our friendship!

Sandahlyn said...

April thank you for your comment! I pray we both lean on Him throughout our day! Thank you for your sweet words!

Sandahlyn said...

I used to get up super early before kids and worked out and showered at gym. And then drove 45 min to work. And, I hated it. I'm not sure I'll ever be a morning workout person. Ever. I may do other things in the morning. I am glad and I feel good once I get going but I'm just not disciplined right now! Thanks for the blogs and tips!!!

Sandahlyn said...

Yes Brittany! It would be easy to swing by the gym if I worked and someone else was keeping kids. But that's not my heart. And I can't just swing by the gym either! :) or anywhere really! Ha! But yes, you are so right. Being flexible is key with toddlers/ preschoolers! Thank you for your honesty too! Sawyer is one lucky boy to have you as mommy!

Sandahlyn said...

Oh sweet Katie!
It is SO comforting knowing we all share these struggles and we are not alone!
I will pray for you as you are closer to sweet baby kizziah #3!
You are such an inspiration to me!
Thank you for your sweet words and encouragement!

Sandahlyn said...

You're so right Julianne!
Every good and hard moment, we need Him!
Love you, miss you, and thank you for your sweet words of encouragement!

Sandahlyn said...

It is a blessing. And sometimes I complain about how hard it is and take it for granted. I've become so selfish lately and in need of redirection from Him! Love you and your sweet family! We will pray for each other!

Sandahlyn said...

Sorry Haley. I probably haven't fixed all tge enabling/disabling buttons on this blog. I still don't know how to fix a few things on here! Ha!
Anyway, thank you for your link on fbook! Very encouraging! And thank you for your applicable ideas! I will not ever be a morning workout person either! But getting up just 30 min before kiddos would be helpful! I've gotten into tge habit of always raking my showers at night so I can wake up ready to go quicker too. But thank you for your realism and great ideas! I've been in a dark slump lately and so convicted of my selfishness and I just need to realize that I can't do it all! And erase MY expectations for myself. I'm my hardest critic! Thanks Haley!!!

Sandahlyn said...

And oh my goodness, I should not use my iPhone to reply ever again.... Cannot spell! Forgive my plump fingers!

Lauren said...

Love this!!!!! Why is all of this so hard!!!?! I feel the same way! I would like to feel good at the end of the day once. I love what Aly said about the weekly goals. That is a great start. We need to start some kind of way to encourage each other and work out :) ! By the way you are a great mother, wife and housekeeper. I am always jealous of how clean your house is ;)

Kaci Lane Hindman said...

I really like the prayer you posted at the end. It is encouraging to me as I have been worrying about how I will balance multiple jobs—traveling sometimes for some, everyday tasks, and a baby. (And I don't even have the first baby here yet!) I loved the comical pictures too. :)